The prompt (thunderstorm) and photo (the caves of Queen Tamar) were so good this week that I did two entries (I planned to enter other competitions for the first time this week, so wanted to cut back – thanks Flash! Friday 🙂 )
First one below…
The caves contain secrets and imprison the shadowlands.
They say that the walls run red, the floors are moist, and bleached bone frameworks jut, jostle and gape at obscene angles within the ceilings.
I am but a child, I cannot possibly understand the caves, they say. I cannot even work, they scold.
I watch the caves and seasons through fractal patterns of encroaching ice, smell the blossom carpets, feel the vengeful summer sun and the hear whispering autumnal thunderstorms.
Two suns ago, I released my precious offering down the well and said my prayer to the spirit-guide.
I run my bony fingers over my legs, full of disease, I do not seek cure – just acceptance.
Today, I return to the well. I have stumbled. Above me, a girl, more beautiful than sunlight on clear water. She holds her hands out to pull me up; she is the first girl willing to touch me.
“I am Tamar,” she says.
This one got an Honorable Mention (thank you judge, Betsy).
Here are her comments “Another story that brings its world into focus very quickly with phrases like “bleached bone frameworks jut, jostle and gape at obscene angles within the ceilings.” My other favorite here is “I run my bony fingers over my legs, full of disease” – this conveys a deep sickness that I can really see and feel.”
I was really happy with it, until I thought of something better (which is below).