Flash! Friday Vol 2.32 (Special Mention)

Like many of the wonderful crew at the good ship Flash! Friday. I decided to try and submit each week.

150 words based on a picture, word and theme is challenging but normally achievable even on a busy Friday.

http://flashfriday.wordpress.com/2014/07/18/flash-friday-vol-2-32/

shiva

The picture and theme were challenging for me. The clumsiness element less so.

I had this story idea in my head and decided to adapt it for the competition.

“The Weight”

In her weakened and trembling hands, she can feel the weight and coldness of polished metal. She thought when she held the gun that she would feel the weight of its power, of liberation and redemption. She only feels exhaustion and attrition.

“Put the gun down, princess,” he slurs.

Princess? She thinks about the internal bruising, fissures of scar tissue and caldera cigar burns.

The stifling air amplifies the sour reek of cheap bourbon. In his stupor, he is clumsy, but also unpredictable.

Her free hand feels her emaciated torso ─ the price of two years of starvation saving money for the gun. She senses the growing heartbeat inside her distended stomach.

Her only possession, her childhood gymnastics leotard, hides under the floorboards. She dreams her daughter will wear it.

A sound. The splatter of colour.

Only two heartbeats left in the room.

Soon sterile blue lights will sweep this place. She waits.

Now she feels the weight. The weight.

 

Of the flash stories I’ve created so far, this one remains on my radar for further development. I am really looking forward to taking this forward.

I got some lovely feedback from some kind and very talented individuals, which I greatly valued.

As a bonus, the judge awarded me a Special Mention.

Flawless imageryMark A. King, “The Weight.” “A sound. The splatter of colour.”

So that was two mentions in two weeks.  Thank you so much Flash! Friday

Maybe, I’ll keep going with the writing after all.

 

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